The Beginning

Two days ago, I hatched a plan to lose 100 pounds in 365 days. I even made a public declaration to my family--well, just to Shelby and Debbie. I haven't announced anything to the world just yet because I'm not really sure when the first day of the 365 is. Tomorrow, I guess, or do I only have 363 left? This is the kind of thinking that's derailed me in the past. Tomorrow is too Cimmerian, but only 363 left makes it sound like I'm wasting time. Frankly, I don't know how much I weigh. Perhaps, there's no need to lose 100 lbs. Maybe 95 is a better goal. 95 in 363! Hell, I lost 5 lbs. in two days. I should write a book--How to Lose 5 lbs. in 2 Days without Lifting a Finger! I'm making progress already.

Here's how bad off I am. Last night, my back started hurting because I was too lazy to get up off the couch and go to bed. The couch is what I spitefully refer to as a two-banger--one with only two cushions, so my butt sags into the crevass and strains my back. I had to take ibuprofen just to get up from the breakfast table this morning. I feel better now. Thank you for asking.

Actually, I'm making some progress. I know I need help, so I called somebody to see about hiring a trainer one-on-one. There's an unidentified voicemail message in my inbox right now. I'm nervous about listening to it. I'm thinking the 365 days begin after I hire a trainer, but I might be able to put off starting until Personal Trainer Person and I start working together. That means 365 might not start for a few days. Watch, PTP will be very energetic and want to talk and meet today. I'm getting nervous again.

Hey, I hope this isn't my last posting. I'm going to listen to my message. Watch it be a bill collector. Then, I'll decide if I have the strength of will to call back. You may never know.